3/4/2016, 7:21 AM

At least wet sleeves aren't fatal

3/3/2016, 9:16 AM

Kudos to all of you who have bared their innermost thoughts here in great prose----of course having just had a major brush with cancer , My Fear-----? sudden death without touching my kin, without any resolution, all those unfinished projects, I have put my heart into----- leaving my beautiful wife, my kids, and so on-------- I feel I can handle death, I just don't want to be there when it happens !

3/2/2016, 7:25 AM

Personally, there is not much that I fear for me. After all, I have survived, child abuse, abandonment, street gang violence, beatings by the L.A. police, riots, 2 tours in Vietnam, Heroine addiction, racism,17 bouts with pneumonia, cancer, stroke and an assortment of other ailments. At this point, I think I can handle almost anything that comes at me. That would include death. I don't want to die but I know that when my day comes, I will be ready. My fears are more for other people. I have great fear for my children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews. For the boys/men I have fear that on any day I will get a call saying they have been gunned down by the police or criminals. It is a very dangerous world out there. It is hunting season seems to be open on Black men and boys by the police. Even though they are all upstanding citizens with college degrees or working towards degrees, the fact still remains that the color of their skin paints a target that police aim for. I fear that the girls will be held back by a society that fails to see the beauty in them because of the skin color that covers who they are. I fear that no matter how far they go in education and experience, they will be held to lower wage brackets created by men for women. I fear that the tone of this nation has turned back to the days I remember so well. Days when the unnecessary assassinations of Black people was considered a normal and unimportant occurrence. I fear that a maniac will reach the presidency and usher in a new era of war, poverty, struggle, division, intolerance and hatred. These are the things that I think of when I see the word fear. I see the past images of Black people hanging from trees and I know that those days have been replaced with bullets and choke holds. My fear is that after all we went through. all the marches, riots, reorganizations, reformations, integrations, assimilations, affiliations and humiliation, the dream we all bought into continues to be a nightmare. My fear is that the blood of my ancestors will never stop bleeding because people continue to see color as a valid reason for murder. The American dream for me and my people has always been tainted by second hand citizenship realities. These are my deepest fears.

3/2/2016, 2:30 AM

I've been feeling like I've survived pretty much everything, I should be out there having no fear at all, that is my goal.

3/2/2016, 1:47 AM

Dear Fly, Its good to see you back on the pipeline. I am guessing by your post that your still struggling and wondering if your the only one haunted by whatever ails you. Let me tell you this. That is what it wants you to think friend. See the wolf loves the lone sheep and the more he can convince you your alone and no-one else feels like you and that sort of rubbish the more he sinks his teeth into you trust me I've been there. As for what I fear I'll share something pretty close to home just to prove to you that I am genuine and that you are not alone. My fear is the fear of how can I say it not failure exactly but not being good enough. Good enough for what.. you might ask. Well good enough for anything. I fear that I am not good enough musically to ever amount to much of anything other than a few onlookers who I sometimes wonder if they really mean what they say or if they just have pity on me. That is how fearful I am. I am fearful that I am not a good enough person. Sometimes I manipulate things for my own benefit and I know that's not good but I do it anyway because I have charisma and get away with it. Sometimes I look in the mirror and think of all the things I could have done and should have done with my life that I did not and it makes me shudder because well its not a pretty picture. I am fearful that at the end of my days whenever that might be that when people look back at my life it won't really amount to much. There will be a few that will say a few things but on the scheme of things I've never really accomplished anything terribly important or noteworthy. So what do I do with all of that? Well some days it wins and on those dark days is a spiral that leads to the abyss. So far I have been lucky enough to either get caught up by something to wake me out of the death roll or someone or something has come along and pulled me out of it. Or I saw the glitch in the matrix and pulled myself out of it. The key here is these fears you and I have we can't run away from them it only makes them more powerful. Only when we turn and look them in the glowing red burning eyes and say to them shut up. I am not going to listen to you. You are a liar and a stealer of dreams. You are nothing and you will not make me nothing just to join in your misery. Sometimes when you face them they get pretty angry and fight back but they have no strength and once you stand against them you will see them start to shrink. You may not beat them entirely but you can keep them at a safe distance where the have no power over you and you may banish them all together. I hope these thoughts help put your mind at rest friend. Whatever your fear there is someone else who shares it you are not alone. Your fear is nothing in the face of someone who is willing to push back. As long as you let it rule you it will and the longer that happens the harder it is to defeat but it always can be defeated in time.