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6/27/2020, 9:14 PM
It's like it was all pretty much meant to happen
so I had copyrighted like 400 songs before I ever came online. Demoed a lot of them, still it was somewhat of a miracle that I ever figured out how to work my various recorders. The first multitrack one I had, a Tascam 4 track, I screwed up and accidentally erased or recorded over so many good tracks I was often brought to tears. but I was saving some of my very best songs for the day I could finally afford real studio time and top players. Now I got bandmates who can pretty much play anything, they're like Page and Bonham, really. so we're all systems go I suppose. So my health is somewhat tenuous. I might live 10-15 more years but more likely less, I kinda expect I have maybe 2 more years. I was just going thru my songs and have picked 4 that I definitely want to finish before I die, so it's time to start putting the work in on those so I can go happily ever after. After I croak I fully expect to become famous. heh
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7/1/2020, 9:04 AM
All along I knew but I didn't know better There's another side to every story It wasn't yours, and it wasn't my fault but if I didn't care tell me why would I be standing here instead of keeping with my disappearing act I emerged from somewhere in the black abyss Came to tell you that it wasn't all for naught but I can't say I was there in spirit all along I thought we'd get it together but that's not why I came to see you Hey, I know it's been a very long time but nothing's really changed Snap your fingers and those years are gone but am I still the way that you remember me Just a man of unrequited dreams and such ? If you think I took the wrong direction then Hey, I didn't really mean to change so much when you told me you would always rather have my respect instead of just a friend in need Guess you never figured out who needed who I'd been so much better off not listening all along You were wrong with most of your assumptions You were led astray by those you trusted I only had your interests in mind You really jumped the gun cause it turns out I told the truth with a dollar in my hand, the time has come oh, to see if I can put the past behind If you think that I have gotten nowhere fast - if you only knew, you'd say I'm doin' fine but I've lost a lot of blood along the way gave a lot of people just a stitch in time who are never gonna be the same again Gave them all I could but I held onto what was mine Walkin' by the ocean Days are passing slowly lookin' straight ahead not tryin' to remember If i did it all again there'd be no way to change things I don't have the chance cause now it is December All my lousy ties are gone for years and many moons now and I've come to know it's never gonna happen Oh, I have so much to give with nothing for the taking If I stopped to think my wings would soon be flappin' All along I knew but I didn't know better There's another side to every story It wasn't yours, and it wasn't my fault and the man that never saw the looking glass has a burning fire inside the belly still Everybody wondered what the difference was but did anybody ever notice who was gone ? Oh, the one who made the magic happen just moved on but did anybody ever notice who was gone when the one who made the magic happen left at dawn ? x My favorite lyrics from you
6/30/2020, 4:16 PM
Scott --you sure are famous in the Indie environment---I got through depression and Cancer in the last few years---they lurk in the background but a positive controlled state of mind is essential to stop self -sabotage. I have 6 new tunes (songs) that I am giving 2 hours a day practice to and when I am in the zone i am happy/satisfied. Self doubt is the pits, Richard and Dlolores are spot on ----you made it years back, just be the creative you/ no holds barred. cheers Rob
6/29/2020, 6:03 AM
Well said, Delores. Doctors are not gods. Life and death will always be a mystery that will never be fully revealed. My mother in law was in a coma and the doctors said she would not recover but she did and she lived another 20 years! Living in the present is what I enjoy. If you're alive today you're ahead of the game. Make the best of it while you can. The future can never be known until it happens.
6/29/2020, 5:18 AM
Agreeing with Richard - and to add on to that - even if a doctor has a prognosis with a timeline in years, I wouldn't count that as absolute truth. I personally know people that have way outlived what they were told they had left. I think the doctors really only have the right to tell a patient that they don't know what else to do. No one can predict life and death.
6/29/2020, 3:53 AM
@FT ~ When you say you might live 10 - 15 more years, maybe less, your estimate goes down to 2 years. That's a pretty big jump. Without knowing the exact details of your medical condition which are your own business, please allow me to speculate that the 2 year estimate seems low for someone who obviously is capable of functioning at such a high level of accomplishment. But of course you know your situation better than anyone else and I applaud your decision to record your best songs professionally as part of your legacy. Your dedication to your craft is admirable and inspirational. In my opinion you're already famous! But unless a doctor told you you only have have 2 years to live, I would advise that you take a more optimistic view and stick with the 10 - 15 year timeline. It will improve your mental state as you tackle the job of organizing your catalog and creating amazing recordings. With your unwavering determination and I'm sure you will succeed in putting your musical house in order. Estimations of life expectancy can be very subjective even in the worst of cases. Long may you run.
6/28/2020, 8:24 AM
You’re not leaving, you’re entering a creative storm. It’s Awakening Day.
6/28/2020, 6:16 AM
Congrats on your accomplishments FT, that is amazing body of work, well done, you have a penchant for writing lyrics and songs with depth and quality, your latest one is brilliant. Look forward to more that you have coming. All the best health wise. anyways, I have a birthday coming soon. Instead of saying how old I am, let me put it this way, my dad is going to be 97 soon. I shake my head that he has lived for near a century. The clicks on my odometer are moving faster and faster it seems every year that goes by tick tick carry on your good works. bt
6/28/2020, 12:38 AM
I figure that for a lot of us, the years are numbered at this point, but hey it's not etched on stone. The time will come when He decides. 2 days, 2 years, 20 years, it's all the same to Him. All I know is I've had hard times since January, both health wise and spiritually. I went down a dark road here at IMP but you and someone else here at IMP picked me up and set me on the straight and narrow and for that I am thankful. Hope that you can get past this moment and continue without a blink until He calls the shot. 20 years on for both us.