4/21/2017, 12:58 AM

Anybody have any bouts with insanity they want to talk about?

I'm having one for several months now. I don't know why exactly. I seem to have a handle on my life somewhat but emotionally I just can't keep it together. It might have to do with some late night drinking I've been doing.. by myself.. I just want to let go, I don't want to focus on anything other than what I feel like focusing on. The world is an extremely weird place. There are people who will lead you on about your dreams, or things you need for one reason or another, practically promise you things with absolutely no intention of following through. Then they seem surprised when you come at them desperate for them to deliver. Then there are these friends you don't expect much from that come thru when you least expect it, what's the deal with that? There's people you hardly deal with at all and one day you wake up realizing they mean a lot to you, that you'd do anything for them. Where did that come from? There are friends you know for certain if you start up certain roads with them you will wish you didn't but you do it anyway. Why? You try to write songs as a creative outlet, you got what seems to be a good idea, you get it done and suddenly it feels like you didn't get anywhere. Or, you're finishing up a project, you go to add this one little thing and it comes out brilliant when you were barely trying. How come that happens, of all things? You sit back one night and you think to yourself, I've been in this exact place so many times before, why do they call this living? You want to give up and you're about at the end of your wick yet ultimately you know your spirit is overpowering, you're on permanent shine, you know you're where you need to be but you're so fucking lost you don't know who you are even. Don't worry about me, I'm only humid.