10/8/2015, 10:43 PM

I own 93% of all your children.

They're such sweet kids when they get our Minecraft game for Christmas, and it isn't long before that becomes their entire life. They defy you and get more and more self-important as little bossy moguls. Did you hope they would become doctors and lawyers, well, forget it, they will spend most of the rest of their lives in your house clinging to their laptops and iPods and iPhones. Might as well face the music.