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Today's story is called 'LittleManWithTheBigFace' By Elly D. Lohlah Illustrations by Droeshout Chandos Dunford-Zoust LittleManWithTheBigFace Bursting awake, not knowing who or where he was, seated at and panning an expansive, round table surrounded by surreal, yet nondeskript, yakking torsos, LittleManWithTheBigFace noticed an untouched meal in front of him consisting of Space Food Sticks, Maypo and a can Metrecal. "That's odd", he said in his head. "I don't know who I am or if I'm in daycare, boarding school or a nursing home, yet I know what I'm eating and of such places". Sliding back and rising up from the vibrato of his chair, LittleManWithTheBigFace saw the exitentrance and decided to go outside and assuming he could read and understand the language, find the sign on the building to, at least, determine his age. On his way, he was astonished by a man-sized parrot perched behind the reception desk. The man-sized parrot stared at LittleManWithTheBigFace with its lifeless, glassy eyes while slowly tilting its head side to side. LittleManWithTheBigFace said, "I don't know who or where I am. Can you help me?" The man-sized parrot stared at LittleManWithTheBigFace some more with its lifeless, glassy eyes while slowly tilting its head side to side and said, "Censor senser! LittleManWithTheBigFace. You are far more famous than interesting. And as you sip from a looking-glass of admiration, I see right through your deprivation and distractions as they dissolve with every fast attempt". LittleManWithTheBigFace said, "That's very fancy, but I need something more basic. Like a name or a number". The man-sized parrot stared at LittleManWithTheBigFace even more with its lifeless, glassy eyes while slowly tilting its head side to side and said, "Oh, I have names for you! but for the kind of names you seek you must find the 4D Polymer Vampire". "Where do I find this 4D Polymer Vampire"?, asked LittleManWithTheBigFace. The man-sized parrot stared at LittleManWithTheBigFace even more with its lifeless, glassy eyes while slowly tilting its head side to side and said, "That's what you tell me when you do. For now, go back to the dining turret and try the doors on the back wall. If you find one unlocked, go in and lock the door". While cutting off a snicker, the man-sized parrot said, "You will find your answers". LittleManWithTheBigFace pensively thanked the man-sized parrot and went back to the dining turret. Quickly walking around the expansive, round table still surrounded by surreal, yet nondeskript, yakking torsos, LittleManWithTheBigFace arrived to his first choice of doors. The door was locked. LittleManWithTheBigFace heard whimpering. The kind of whimpering associated with fear or surgery done at home. LittleManWithTheBigFace moved on to his next choice of doors. Again the door was locked. LittleManWithTheBigFace heard fucking. Ritualistic, maintenance fucking. The kind of fucking associated with anger and frustration.LittleManWithTheBigFace moved on to his third choice of doors. The door was unlocked! LittleManWithTheBigFace went inside and locked the door behind him. Inside LittleManWithTheBigFace found a plain, cream colored, low rent apartment. He was attracted to the drawers in the cooking sink area. The top drawer had an assortment of brightly colored, compartmentally organized video tapes. The file separator headings for the tapes were as follows... automoton nightmares bum fights psychotic drama sock-puppet-porno ultra-violent pixies The sleeves for the 'ultra-violent pixies' videos were especially tattered. LittleManWithTheBigFace was especially interested in seeing a 'bum fights' video. A video monitor made its presence known at that moment on the counter. LittleManWithTheBigFace placed and glided the video tape into the machine. Immediately, grainy, silent, mono-chromatic scenes appeared on the screen. Wiry, monstrous, half-naked ogres beating the hell out of each other on an oily, slowly gyrating, slightly concave, wooden slat floor. Throwing and taking outrageous blows to each others head, face, body and legs! Knocking each other down and getting right back up again! At the pace of about 2 blows per second! DOOM! DOOM!! DOOM!!! ENOUGH!!! LittleManWithTheBigFace found himself looking through the second drawer down. The file separator headings were as follows... gravity big energy from a distance radiocity psychic toys broadcast But there was nothing in between the file separators. Suddenly there was a loud, rapid knock at the door. It was the postman! He was snickering and his name tag read 4D Polymer Vampire. Feinting at LittleManWithTheBigFace's nose, The postman said, "Letter for you, sir" then ran off hysterically. LittleManWithTheBigFace looked at the envelope and knew who and where he was!! He opened the envelope. It was an invitation!! To the dining turret!! It said, "Please accept this invitation to the expansive, round table upon receipt for Postum, corn flakes and eggs". Signed The Surreal, yet nondeskript, Yakking Torsos LittleManWithTheBigFace gratefully went to the meal and slowly fell asleep... THE END