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At first it seemed like a normal Christmas Eve in the house of Steve Santa came down my chimney, placed presents under the tree, and ate the milk and cookies we left for him on a table next to the fireplace. We woke up the next morning to open the presents Santa had left for us. However, there was just one problem. Santa was STILL in our house. At first we thought he was ill…or perhaps just a little delusional. However, as days went by we came to the realization that Santa just likes our house better than his own home on the North Pole. Verse 1 But He took a big dump It left quite a stink Guess he doesn’t own a toilet Cause he used the damn sink! Red boots on my furniture Tarnished suit barely fits Now my couch is all smeared With green reindeer shit Eats me out of house and home It really has me peeved Santa’s got a new life He’s never going to leave! Refrain: With his feet on my couch Bastard’s scratching his balls Eating my food making long distance calls He sniffs my wife’s panties And jumps on our bed I found him bouncing With a pair on his head Hope you’re not waiting For santa this year He passed out on my couch After drinking my beer Verse 2: Rudolph’s growing weak, All the Reindeer unfed Donner slipped off the roof, Lays in the road dead. Santa sick of the elves And he’s sick of the cold He’s sick of Mrs. Clause Who’s wrinkly and old There’s everything here For Santa’s new life He wrestles my dog Scrapbooks with my wife Refrain 2: With his feet on my couch Santa picks at his nose Pay per view porn While his boner grows He sniffs my wife’s panties And jumps on our bed I found him bouncing With a pair on his head So if you’re waiting For santa this year He passed out on my couch Cause he drank all my beer! SPOKEN He looks at my porn while he "touches" himself He "used" all the lotion I kept on the shelf When he falls down my chimney, or pukes on my floor When he breaks open my window cause he cant find the door. I’ll think of you all without unwelcome guests While santa throws up and makes more of a mess. With his feet on my couch Picks the cheese from his balls Eats all my food makes long distance calls He sniffs my wife’s panties And jumps on our bed I found him bouncing With a pair on his head So if you’re waiting For santa this year He threw up on my cat, cause he drank all my beer! With his feet on my couch Santa’s not gonna go He wipes on the cushion What he picks from his nose Wife: he sniffs my panties He likes them in red I gotta buy more cause These smell like his head! Both: if you’re waiting this xmas eve he’s here on our couch and he’s not gonna leave! puts his feet on my couch and picks his ass He watches my porn While he passes gas Wife: he likes my panties Loves them with lace He bounces and rubs them All over his face! So if you’re waiting For santa this year He raped my dog After drinking my beer! puts his feet on my couch and scratches his balls eats all my food makes long distance calls on my couch naked while he guzzles beer says he’s had sex with the elves and reindeer!