indiemusicpeople.com

You have no idea how happy I am to have been able to release this song with vocals, especially since I’ve had lyrics written since 2015 and they’re so personal. I changed the lyrics since then, but the main context remained the same - a conversation between one’s shame and pent-up anger. Ever since I wrote the lyrics, I knew this song needed a very specific feel to it. I wanted it to be eerie, unsettling and uncomfortable, just like when you’re all alone with your negative, intrusive thoughts you can’t control anymore. You’re lying in the dark, overwhelmed with ugly images in your head, hearing awful things that will happen to you and just watch anxiety bury you alive. Music-wise, the song is pretty simple, but what really takes the cake (yes, I will say that because I came up with these ideas and I think they did exactly what I wanted) are the effects - the analog white noise, the whispers, voices echoing in the background. Sounds that makes you feel uncertain, like something’s bad about to happen to you. Like you know you’re alone and no one knows what’s going on with you. I basically chose to treat this song as a horror movie or a part of the movie where the character is slowly losing one’s solid grip with the reality and can’t tell what’s real or not anymore. And it goes neatly with lyrics - knowing you’re bottling up a bomb that might explode anytime, but you have no idea how to detonate it in a safe way. So when it explodes, a part of you dies.