chrysesofia
Journal and Comments
5/31/2006, 5:48 AM
cause and effect ... as if the head of the cat causes the tail. the word is not the thing.
5/17/2006, 4:52 AM
Don't worry 'bout it baby / don't try to understand You got your answer in your hand, Throw it away ~ joe jackson
3/17/2006, 6:28 AM
i find the pressure does have to build to a certain point … it has to be big enough for me where i can’t just keep it in my head, i have to write about it … and at the point where i find myself blurting something out loud at the same time i’m typing it … that’s usually a big signal, the through-the-looking-glass moment where it becomes creative because now i have heard the words and the words have a rhythm and the rhythm suggests both, simultaneously, a word pattern that begs to be completed (like a puzzle) and a musical sound (which makes it an even bigger puzzle). but there must be emotional pressure behind it to push through that … boundary. and yeah i think there is an element of self-voyeurism in that, kind of closet drama queen. and you’re right, the evidence of that is it’s incredibly difficult to write a “happy song,” or to build up that pressure to write a good song when you’re not … undergoing some internal … conflict. i’ve managed to trick myself into doing it as an unemotional, intellectual exercise, with surprisingly fluid and feasible results, but then i find those are the ones i tend to forget i’ve written … because they made no impression on me, or took nothing out of me. i didn’t give anything up to create them. can’t feel it … numb spot. life seems to be more and more about, literally, what can be made of it … every experience seems to be measured in some respect by whether “i got a good song out of it.” the irony of how we chronologically develop is that when we were younger and had the time and energy to make more of what we wrote, we had no wisdom of experience to inject into the writing … and now that we do … well, as you say, if one other person gains from the hearing, experiences something, then you have done it, you transmitted it, and that is highly worthwhile. the connection, now, is more valuable than fame would have been then.
3/16/2006, 2:38 PM
it's taken me a few days to find this. i relate to almost everything you're saying here. including name-wise, processing everything internally, and opening the vein. but your vein opens and raw soul spills out ... with a self-assurance that i envy. so ... you ... have a way of getting it out. you do know how to do it. your voice carries it. and the ability to do this is a valve ... you can let out what has to come out and withhold what you need. so ... this is a good place to do that, because people are gonna get it. you come across.
